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| Wow, it has definitely been a long time since Ive made any entries on this here xanga. I doubt if anyone will even know that Ive written anything new. Well, I just did something that was very hard for me to do. I wont go into any details but I just wanted to say that it is only by Gods grace that He got me through it and it turned out ten times better than what i could have imagined. We humans have so many worldy fears but what we do not seem to ever realize or grasp ahold of in our puny little brains is that the only fearing that needs to be done on this earth is fearing the Lord. He is sovereign and all-knowing and I know everyone would agree and say yes,yes that is so true but are we actually living it and truly believing it? I will be the first one to say that fear of earthly things and lack of trust in Christ is one of my biggest downfalls. Whats even more ridiculous is that on top of fearing things that are in my face I make up things to fear that arent even reality. I double dose my brain with worry when I have nothing to worry about. Is it just me or is anyone else this ridiculous? The truth is that we need to fix our eyes heavenward because it is that fear that keeps us from knowing Christ and keeps us from being so excited about the gospel that others wont know what they are missing out on. I know it sounds cliche but we have such a gift that others dont have and we take for granted the fact that we are wretched sinners just the same as anyone else and He chose to save us from hell. Wow. Can we really fathom what has been done for our filthy black hearts? I cant. | | |
| So, its four thirty in the morning and I cant sleep. I woke up at three and have been tossing and turning since. My brain just wont stop. I've been lying awake wondering what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I'm graduating school in about a week or so and my state board test is June 8th. I dont have a job yet and I'm lacking in motivation to find one. Sometimes I wonder if this business is for me. I do a good job at what I do but I have so many frustrations. I'm going to stay with it for as long as God wants me to but there are so many things that I want to do and up till now have not done any of them really. I want to travel and see the world, show love to those who don't know what love is, give to those who have nothing. In the business everything is about how hip and cool you are (at least that's how it is at school) and I don't care about being hip and cool. That's not what is going to get me in to heaven or anyone else for that matter. I know I can make an impact in peoples lives everyday when they come to sit in my chair for a haircut but I wonder if my attitude and frustrations will hinder from impacting anyone. I want to help those in need and I'm sure that wherever I end up working the people that come will not be in need but I have to remember that just because they are not poor in material things that most will be poor in spirit and that is when I will play a part in the picture. I don't know what God has in store for me but I do need to trust that He does know what He's doing. You gotta give Him some credit, He is God and He doesn't make any mistakes.
Well I guess I better try and get some sleep. Its gonna be another fun day at the hair factory. | | |
| Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never be thirsty. All that the Father gives me will come to me and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were theives and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate: whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out and find pasture. The theif comes only to steal and kill and destroy: I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God trust also in me. In my Fathers house are many rooms: if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going. I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If any one loves me, he will obey my teaching. My father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Matthew 11:28-30 John 6:37-38 John 10:8-10 John 14:1-4,6,23,27 | | |
| So.....I'm home from school again. First I thought I was feeling sick because of the medicine I was taking but now I'm realizing that I just have what seems to be going around. God did answer prayers from monday night study. I went to school tuesday morning and the wife of the owner of my school came to me and said if I didn't have a guest in the afternoon that I could take her credit card and go to the doctors. Crazy huh? So I got some medicine for my stomach and a sinus infection (which would explain why I'm tired a lot). Isn't it amazing how you can see how God answers prayers like that?
As I was off school last week and not having so much of a regular school week this week the same questions have been reeling in my brain. What does God want for my life? What are His plans for me? What should I be doing now to best prepare for what He has in store for me? I know things I want to do and wish I could do but is that what God wants for me? They seem to be the same questions being asked by so many people my age. Its like the on going theme in a lot of peoples hearts. So...should we stop asking so many questions and let God work in us and through us and trust that He knows exactly what He's doing and as long as we are living for Him, following hard after him and striving to be more like Him every second of the day we have nothing to fear. That was a long sentence but as I wrote it I realized that that was the best answer. But, is it still ok to ask these questions? It reminds me of a child who is taught a certain way and the child asks "why?" and the mother says "because I know what's best for you and you will appreciate what I have taught you when you get older". I feel like that child asking why and waiting to see how God will use me with what He has taught me. | | |
| Everyone would be proud of me. I went running today. I know you all work out all the time with your gym memberships and all but Im not quite as diligent when it comes to that. Hopefully i will be making it a habit daily. It was a great time to destress and have time alone with me and Jesus. I also felt a lot better and had more energy when I got back which was great too. If your stressed I would highly recommend a great workout for the natural high. Well I have to get back to my laundry and cleaning the house. No more living on my own. | | |
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